lemon garden

It is Valentine’s Day tomorrow. I am amazed at how a minor, if rather sweet, saint’s day has suddenly exploded into a huge commercial event. I think I first noticed the shops really plugging valentine products last year, but in 2006 it’s gone mad. Every shop in town has devoted swathes of floor space to valentine themed items. Red and black seem to be the colours of choice - red for the heart, black for … er … contrast.

I wonder what will be next. The problem, I suppose, is that we’re running a bit short of suitable festivals. Yet there is so much money to be made out of these “traditional” celebrations that this lack of festivity could seriously endanger the future growth of our economy.

Obviously you’ve got Christmas. And Easter is great for selling eggs, chocolate and stuffed toys (particularly rabbits and chicks). I think the Christians do something at Easter as well. Bonfire Night is a bit limited really. Everyone goes to public firework displays so you can’t even flog fireworks to them. Halloween, having gone almost entirely unmarked for years in the UK, now provides the one window of opportunity for pumpkin growers to sell their wares to the British public.

Other than that, I suppose there might be commercial opportunities in Remembrance Day. Perhaps a chocolate cenotaph, or poppy seed cakes. A special “Remembrance Minute Timer” to measure your period of silence and sombre reflection - complete with customisable ring tone to signal the end of the minute.

Then there is May Day. We could market a children’s maypole to keep the kiddies occupied on the Bank Holiday. It’s never too early to start them on the old fertility rituals. Or perhaps a pair of lovers’ Morris Dancing costumes (with bells!).

Truly, the possibilities are endless.